Growing up stuff.

Today, I successfully finished my first term of high school at PG high. That's a big deal for me. 

As mom and I were driving home from grandmas house, we talked about the changes I've gone through to get to this point. Leaving all my dearest friends to go to a school just to be with my brother.

 I cried and cried. 

There was no point in those first few weeks of school where I ever imagined being here.

 Where I  am right now, is peaceful, I am content. Content to be friends with Zach, content to have good teachers, content to know my two incredible friends that I have become so close with at pg. 

life seems to be that way, there are trials we go through that we can't see the good in, and things we face that we can't  imagine overcoming. But somehow, through some divine act of deity, now I'm looking BACK on those trials. They have passed. 

Along with this realization, comes the bittersweet reality of growing up. My Zachy  is a senior? When did that happen? Why does he have to leave me behind. My grandma is getting rid of the baby costumes she has left over, because this is the last of the grand kids. When did I become a tenth grader? When did Max start kindergarten. 

Life doesn't seem to slow down. 

Do we ever really catch up with this growing up stuff? 

The Brain vs. the Heart

Brains are marvelous things. Connecting to millions of nerves and making sure that everything in the body works the way it was intended. The brain, in this case represents logic. 

The heart, on the other hand is mysterious. It is the only other organ in the body that can "think" that's why, when someone hurts us, we don't say "she insulted me, ouch! My toe" because that would obviously sound ridiculous. 

So how do we connect the two? How does one decide which one is right? My life consists of my brain and heart having a constant battle, neither one ending up fully satisfied. For weeks I have struggled, Finding the joy, the peaceful compromise between the two. So I have been thinking a lot about the few things my two most vital organs can agree on...And that is that I am truly blessed to have these simple joys in my world. Because the world is confusing for a 15 year old girl with conflicting emotions on everything.

So I'll marvel at beautiful babies.

And laugh my head off with my incredible friends.

And remind my siblings that I adore them. Every day.

And wait a while to find out what "love" means.