Wait, I'm still here Dudes.

So Crazy crazy stuff has been happening in my world lately. I mean I don't really even know where to begin. My two best friends in the whole wide world left on their missions. The's right, ladies and gents. Zachary Starling Hall, aka Zachy aka role model aka I cried a LOT. And also, Caleb John Jensen. I'm assuming, if you're reading this, you know me well enough to know the special bond I had with said sir. He opened my eyes to how every girl deserves to be treated. I am blessed beyond measure to have grown up with Zach, and grown up spiritually with caleb. SO updates on my current life:

• I got a job at which wich (a sandwich shop in orem, yes come visit)
• I bleached a chunk of my hair blonde with bex and it was super exciting k. 
• I developed 42 pictures of people I love and put them all up in my room.
• I got my patriarchal blessing as of three weeks ago and wow. I love it.
• I am turning sixteen this weekend. (FINALLY)
• I need some good suggestions of new books to read. 
• hehehe, I passed drivers ed.  

So that's a little 'bout what's up with me. here are some super cute pix to catch y'all up.

Not necessarily in order. But you know, that's life.

Life, lately.

I have been absent for the past few months due to; an overwhelming amount of trying to be a functioning human. A few things I've learned: 

A) procrastination is no bueno.

B) snuggling with max rocks.

C) getting rid of stuff is freeing.

D) making new friends is a long process.

E) having a clean room feels peaceful.

Also, albravonal hall is breath taking. And p.s. God works through beautiful music. Thankful to be in my musical family. They keep me anchored, as well as helping my reach for my goals.

Growing up stuff.

Today, I successfully finished my first term of high school at PG high. That's a big deal for me. 

As mom and I were driving home from grandmas house, we talked about the changes I've gone through to get to this point. Leaving all my dearest friends to go to a school just to be with my brother.

 I cried and cried. 

There was no point in those first few weeks of school where I ever imagined being here.

 Where I  am right now, is peaceful, I am content. Content to be friends with Zach, content to have good teachers, content to know my two incredible friends that I have become so close with at pg. 

life seems to be that way, there are trials we go through that we can't see the good in, and things we face that we can't  imagine overcoming. But somehow, through some divine act of deity, now I'm looking BACK on those trials. They have passed. 

Along with this realization, comes the bittersweet reality of growing up. My Zachy  is a senior? When did that happen? Why does he have to leave me behind. My grandma is getting rid of the baby costumes she has left over, because this is the last of the grand kids. When did I become a tenth grader? When did Max start kindergarten. 

Life doesn't seem to slow down. 

Do we ever really catch up with this growing up stuff? 

The Brain vs. the Heart

Brains are marvelous things. Connecting to millions of nerves and making sure that everything in the body works the way it was intended. The brain, in this case represents logic. 

The heart, on the other hand is mysterious. It is the only other organ in the body that can "think" that's why, when someone hurts us, we don't say "she insulted me, ouch! My toe" because that would obviously sound ridiculous. 

So how do we connect the two? How does one decide which one is right? My life consists of my brain and heart having a constant battle, neither one ending up fully satisfied. For weeks I have struggled, Finding the joy, the peaceful compromise between the two. So I have been thinking a lot about the few things my two most vital organs can agree on...And that is that I am truly blessed to have these simple joys in my world. Because the world is confusing for a 15 year old girl with conflicting emotions on everything.

So I'll marvel at beautiful babies.

And laugh my head off with my incredible friends.

And remind my siblings that I adore them. Every day.

And wait a while to find out what "love" means.